A Journey of Rediscovery

"What was once lost, is not lost forever when found again", is a line I heard in a movie, which I now forgot the title, but whose meaning has resounded in my soul.

For some time preceding my trip to Bayabas, my hometown, I have lost my balance. I have felt that everything that was ever "everything" to me has been snatched from under my feet. For months, I have felt like I do not belong anywhere except to my sad and lost self. But I refused to fall into pieces and I know that the only place where I can glue myself back together is where I have always been whole.

[Top Photo: At the Manila Centennial T3 Airport with my brother Silver, nephews and niece Aries, Kim, Jack, Zedrick and Chelsea, before boarding the plane that would take me home]


So begin my journey home.

En route to Davao City, I lost my suitcase. My sinking heart begun to worry, in the 20 years I have been traveling, it was the first time I have ever lost a luggage. The smooth travel I have prayed for was not meant to be.

Or so I thought. And how wrong was I. If there was ever a blessing in disguise in my life, this is the one that holds the most true meaning to the phrase.

For from the day following the missing of my suitcase, all that ensued was all about finding again. My baggage has become a symbol of what has transpired on my journey home, representing everything that I have carried with me for life. Mis-routed, but towards the end, found its way back to me.

Surrounded by people I call my own, who only seems to really see me for my good self, I have rediscovered myself, rediscovered life. I have come to learn that what I only really need to remember is why I love everyone I have called my loved-ones.

While I do not deny myself the lessons I have learned from my mistakes and from everything that has made me lost my balance, I now know that I can stand firm and tall on the shoulders of everyone who loves me -no matter how splintered with occasional errors and flaws these loves are.

What lesson did I learn? A line from another movie sums it up again: "Sometimes, you need to lose your balance in love to gain balance in life".

While in Bayabas, I have been introduced on stage more than a couple of times, but more prominently when I was judging the "Gakit Festival/Sadsadan sa Kalsada" and the "Search for Mutya ng Kinaiyahan".

In all the festivities, I have been missing my parents. Sometimes, I find myself searching for their faces in the crowd. Hoping things are different and they are still there physically with everyone else, laughing, enjoying and cheering on.

I do not want to be anything else on those days, but their daughter. I want my presence to pay homage to the way they brought me up and they way I turned out to be, which was not so bad at all.

I am my mother's generosity and compassion and my father's strength and resilience and their combined force. For whatever perceived achievements and success I have, on those days, I wanted nothing more than to be recognized as the daughter of Susana and Silvestre Ligutan Sr.

And I was just that, my every introduction was punctuated with "the daughter of the late Mrs. Susana and Mr. Silvestre Ligutan Sr."

> Receiving Papa's Plaque of Recognition as a former Barangay Captain of Balete, Bayabas, Surigao del Sur, from Mayor Florecita Garcia Giron, with Davao City DILG Director Merrel Limbaro looking on.

>On stage with the gracious Bayabas Mayor Giron and Vice Mayor Maria Clarita Garcia Limbaro.

>On stage, holding my Plaque of Recognition as former Kabataang Barangay Municipal Federation Chairman / member of the Municipal Council 1983-1986.

>On stage with my lovely cousin Cerelina "Inday" Betco Ernst, receiving the prestigious and rare "Outstanding Bayabasnon Award" for Small Wonders Trust's exemplary charitable works since 2005.

>On a makeshift stage, judging the "Sadsadan sa Kalsada / Street Dancing" as part of Bayabas' Golden Anniversary Foundation as a Municipality celebrations, 19 November 2011, Surigao del Sur

>On judging duty again, 2nd from left, with other judges Ms. Cerelina "Inday" Betco-Ernst, Dr. Cresente Manliquez, Ms. Ningky Tajonera and Mr. Leonito Denzo, for the Search for "Mutya ng Kinaiyahan 2011", 20 November 2011, Bayabas Gym.

>Beautiful colorful costumes from one of the Street Dancing entry groups

>Creative bamboo rafts, entries to the Gakit Festival 2011

>The whole town came out to watch, enveloping the shorelines from the seawall to the town's bridge.









A Family Affair Too!

>My sister Shei, arriving Manila Centennial T3 Airport from Singapore and being met by brother Silver and nephews and niece Aries, Kim, Jack, Zedrick and Chelsea.

>My beloved sister Shei, who has served as my official photographer and videographer, here with classmates giving it all up for "Hands Up Baby, Hands Up" dance-entrance performance of TARVIA-BBU Class of '87 during the Grand Alumni Homecoming Socials, 18 Nov 2011, Bayabas, Surigao del Sur.

>Early morning at our official hosts residence: the Betco Family Home, with cousins Inday Betco Ernst and Tex Betco Caringal

>The always-out-with-friends-and-classmates Shei and the always-crawling-in-drunken-stupor Renan holding up his favorite Red Horse companion, flanked by friends during one of their outings!

>Shei at the Cavana with family, friends and classmates.

>Shei, Mal and Bembem, gone "wet-n-wild" at Cagwait White Beach.

>Shei with family, friends and classmates sharing a meal and a good time in one of the gakit entries.

>With Bembem, Mal and Shei, visiting Papa, Mama and all the departed loved-ones at the Bayabas Cementery early Monday morning before driving back to Davao City heading back to Hong Kong.





Remembering Papa, the Late Silvestre S. Ligutan Sr., on his birthday today and dedicating this blog to him.
26 November 2011 - Hong Kong, SAR